do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
