got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
