hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
