But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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