i would punch a child for taco bell
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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