No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
