I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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