Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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