Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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