please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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