Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize