I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
