maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
