I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
