i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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