my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Less talking, more tequila
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
