my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
