Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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