sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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