There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
