I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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