Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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