I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
