If that was your dad, he is hot
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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