i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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