the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
