dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
