My first STD was from a foam party
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
