how hairy? two words: wookie tits
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
