I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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