I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
