Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
