If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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