he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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