Well apparently he's into motor boating.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
