you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
