Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize