I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
