I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
