I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have already put on my inside pants.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
