he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
