just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
