When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
