We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
