This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
