Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
