why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize