You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
