woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize