a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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