was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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