you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
