I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
