There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
