Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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