he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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