I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
