Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
