someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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