So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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