Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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