I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize