I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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