Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
